A to Z Am I the Jerk? 28 | Am I the jerk for not wanting my roommate’s cousin to stay with us?

You’ve been roommates with Sarah for over a year, and things have generally gone well. You both share household responsibilities, and there haven’t been significant issues.

One day, Sarah approaches you and asks if her cousin, Jenny, can stay at your place for a few nights. Jenny is in town for a job interview and needs a place to stay. Sarah explains that Jenny is respectful and won’t be a bother.

You’re generally a private person and value your personal space, but you want to be a good roommate and friend. You agree to let Jenny stay, but you have one condition: Jenny can only stay for a maximum of three nights.

Jenny arrives, and everything seems fine at first. However, her job interview gets postponed, and she asks if she can stay a few more nights until the rescheduled interview. You start to feel a bit uncomfortable with the extended stay but don’t want to come across as rude.

After her interview is rescheduled again, Jenny asks if she can stay even longer until she finds a job and a place to live in your city. You’re now feeling like your personal space is being invaded and the situation is becoming too much.

You talk to Sarah about the situation and explain that you can’t have Jenny stay for an indefinite period. Sarah is upset and says you’re being unsupportive and not a good friend for refusing to help her cousin.

Now you’re questioning whether you’re in the wrong for setting a limit on Jenny’s stay, or if you’re justified in wanting to maintain your personal space and boundaries. Do you think you might be the jerk in this scenario?

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