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In this episode of The A to Z English Podcast, Xochitl and Jack explain how you should address peers and authority figures in the United States.
Transcript:
00:00:01
Jack
Welcome to the A to Z English podcast. My name is Jack and I’m here with my co-host social. And today we have a new kind of episode that we’d like to call the culture corner.
00:00:12
Jack
And social today’s question comes from one of our listeners and our listener. This is Nash to asking. Nash is from Iraq and she says she asks, what did the majority of people in America prefer to be called?
00:00:31
Jack
So when we talked about this episode earlier today, you you’ve separated it into two really interesting categories. I think peers and authority figures. Is that what you said?
00:00:44
Xochitl
Yes, that’s what I said.
00:00:45
Jack
OK, OK. So I like that because I think that that’s a really good way to to like kind of picture the situation in America. And so how would you what? Well let’s start with peers first, what do peers prefer to be called?
00:01:02
Xochitl
Ears are usually referred to informally and you talk.
00:01:05
Xochitl
To them by.
00:01:06
Xochitl
Their name?
00:01:07
Jack
Right.
00:01:08
Xochitl
So peers refers to also someone on your same level hierarchically. So if we’re talking about, for example, your classmates in school, college, elementary school, whatever.
00:01:22
Xochitl
Those are your peers. If you’re at a job, everyone who’s in your same station as you, like anyone who is your colleague and isn’t above.
00:01:29
Xochitl
View hierarchically, those are your peers in a family setting. Even your brothers and sisters are really your peers, and the parents are basically the 30 or any older adults are basically a 30.
00:01:44
Jack
Right. And now what about our case like I’m 47? You’re 26. Or did you turn?
00:01:48
Jack
27 I can’t remember.
00:01:50
Xochitl
I turned 27.
00:01:51
Jack
You turned 27 so OK, so I’ve got 20 years in you, but I still think.
00:01:55
Jack
Of you as like.
00:01:55
Jack
A peer, because we’re both podcasters. We’re partners in this in our business.
00:02:01
Jack
And so, even though there’s a 20 year, 20 year gap, I I don’t know about you, but if you started calling me, Mr. McBain, that would be really weird. You know what I mean?
00:02:12
Xochitl
So awkward. And that brings you a really important point, which is.
00:02:18
Xochitl
Sometimes if you start out formally, Jack was talking about, it’s important to.
00:02:24
Xochitl
So start formally because it’s you’re unlikely to offend someone, you might make it a little awkward, but if you start formally, you’re unlikely to offend someone. They’ll just correct you to speak to them more informally. And so if I started calling Jack, Mr. McBain now.
00:02:43
Xochitl
If you insist, once a person has told you to draw up formalities, you can actually make the situation way more uncomfortable than you would have just following what they prefer and just being informal.
00:02:58
발표자
Right.
00:02:59
Jack
I would say like a lot of people.
00:03:01
Jack
That are you.
00:03:02
Jack
Know. So let’s let’s go to like authority figures.
00:03:05
Jack
Right. So and it so.
00:03:06
Jack
It doesn’t matter the age, it’s more about the like situation like.
00:03:10
Jack
So social and.
00:03:11
Jack
I are. We’re both podcasting partners in this business, so.
00:03:15
Jack
So she and I.
00:03:16
Jack
Use our names. I call her social, she.
00:03:18
Jack
Calls me Jack.
00:03:19
Jack
Well, let’s say let’s you say you go to university.
00:03:24
Jack
You you meet your.
00:03:25
Jack
Professor for the first time, you know, at the beginning of the semester, like you said, you’re always gonna start with the formal, right? You’re gonna say Professor Smith?
00:03:35
Xochitl
John. Ohh yeah.
00:03:38
Jack
Professor Johnson or Professor Smith or whatever. And then if the professor says no, no, don’t call me Professor Johnson, call me Deborah or Deb.
00:03:48
Jack
Maybe then you have to switch to informal and call her Debbie from now on. Don’t use the formal because she already asked you not to use the formal.
00:04:00
Jack
How do we?
00:04:01
Jack
But I would say if she doesn’t.
00:04:03
Jack
Say that if she says, you know if you say good morning professor.
00:04:08
Jack
Johnson and she says good morning, Jack, or good morning social. Then I would always use Professor Johnson in that case because she never asked me.
00:04:18
Jack
To use the.
00:04:19
Jack
Informal, so I’m going to assume she wants me to use the formal and then just continue that out.
00:04:28
Xochitl
In authority, like in situations where you’re addressing a person of authority, the default is only as a formality, so you only default to or assume talking to someone in a formal way. And then of course you can change.
00:04:44
Xochitl
It later and.
00:04:45
Xochitl
In most settings, people will tell you how they want to be addressed. In the US, we do tend to be like.
00:04:51
Xochitl
A little more direct in those ways and like for example, when I was in college, our professors would usually let.
00:04:57
Xochitl
Us know how.
00:04:57
Xochitl
They wanted to be addressed, so if they want to be addressed as professor, so and so.
00:05:01
Xochitl
So then that was fine, but if they wanted to be addressed by their first names, they would also let us know that as well. So it was never really a guessing game. Like what should I call this person or not?
00:05:14
Jack
My friend’s parents.
00:05:16
Jack
I would I always use the formal. I would say like yeah, my friend’s name is uh is uh, you know Joe Johnson, I would say to his parents. Hello, Mrs. Johnson. Hello, Mr. Johnson. Like, that’s what I would say. I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t just be like hey.
00:05:34
Jack
Mitch. Hey, Barbara. You know like that because it’s too. It’s too comfortable. Like you don’t know them. You’re not close enough to them. But if they tell you, call me Barbara. Call me Mitch. Then you can you can do it so.
00:05:51
Jack
Yeah, I don’t know is it is.
00:05:53
Jack
Is this easy or is this?
00:05:56
Xochitl
I think it can be a little complicated and I think the most important thing to remember is that if it’s your peers, you can be informal. If it’s authority, you should be formal. Yeah, at least at 1st, and then if the authority figure wants to.
00:06:12
Xochitl
You to talk more informally then. That’s fine. And another important thing to remember is, UM, if you’re unsure, I guess if the person is your peer or an authority figure, like if you’re coworkers, but you don’t know the person has a higher station than you, like maybe they’re not quite the boss, but maybe they’re a manager or something.
00:06:34
Xochitl
Then just start out.
00:06:37
Xochitl
With talking to them formally, and they’ll correct you if they want to.
00:06:45
Jack
I I love it, I.
00:06:46
Jack
Mean, I think.
00:06:46
Jack
These are really good.
00:06:48
Jack
Rules right, peers. Informal authority figures start formally and then until they ask you to to to be informal.
00:06:59
Jack
And if you don’t know?
00:07:01
Jack
Don’t guess, just always go formal because it’s better to be too formal than to be too informal. So I think those are the three rules. If you can follow those 3 rules, you’ll be you’ll be fine in in America.
00:07:15
Jack
In the United States.
00:07:16
Xochitl
I do have a couple little things to add. 1 is it depends how casual or formal the setting is. Like if you’re in a workplace or at school, these are formal settings, so again like you want to follow the rules we just established.
00:07:33
Xochitl
But if it’s a more casual setting, kind of like the podcast like Jack and I kind of met in a casual way and the podcast is more casual, like the age difference doesn’t really matter in that context.
00:07:47
Xochitl
And then the last thing that I wanted to say is if you’re talking to a random stranger like, say someone drops your wallet, Sir or ma’am is perfectly fine way to address someone.
00:08:02
Xochitl
UM, you’re like, oh, excuse me, Sir, you dropped your wallet or excuse me, ma’am, you dropped your wallet. And if the person is a younger person or someone like in their 20s or or or maybe early 30s, you can say miss or.
00:08:17
Xochitl
Like a.
00:08:19
Xochitl
Young man, for example.
00:08:22
Xochitl
As well.
00:08:24
Jack
And and it. Yeah, I think that that’s really good. And even if that’s too much to remember, just certain, ma’am is is is OK.
00:08:32
Xochitl
Yeah, that’s OK if the.
00:08:34
Jack
Even even for younger people, you say?
00:08:35
Jack
Sir, you know? Yeah.
00:08:38
Xochitl
You’ll call me ma’am and I find it, like, weird. Sometimes they’ve called me ma’am since I was a kid. Like people, people, even in American culture, we default to something.
00:08:50
Xochitl
So it should be fine.
00:08:51
Jack
I’ve been called, Sir. When I was young too, you know? And it feels weird. You kind. It feels like you’re it. It feels bigger than than me.
00:08:59
Jack
Than I am.
00:09:00
Jack
You know what?
00:09:00
Jack
I mean like someones using a title.
00:09:02
Jack
That’s much larger than.
00:09:03
Jack
My my status but but it’s still effective. You know, if they don’t know your name, they say Sir.
00:09:14
Xochitl
Right. So I hope that answer your answers your question. I’m getting tongue tied there listeners. If you have any other questions make sure to leave us a comment down below at A-Z englishpodcast.com shoot us an e-mail at AZ englishpodcast@gmail.com and join our WhatsApp or WeChat groups to join the conversation.
00:09:34
Xochitl
And we’ll see you guys next time.
00:09:35
Xochitl
On another episode of Culture Chat, Bye bye.
00:09:38
발표자
Go back.
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