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In this episode, Jack is doing a solo Am I the Jerk? episode. Let us know how Jack did by himself in the comments section of the You Tube channel.
The Situation:
Me (f26) and my sister, Ellie (f28) are very close. Ellie’s getting married in about 3 weeks, I’m her MOH and it’s all very exciting, but also stressful. Especially so close to the wedding making sure it all goes as smoothly as possible.
My boyfriend Jack’s (m25) family is Canadian. They’ve recently had a family tragedy so Jack is flying out next week to attend the funeral. Of course I have no issue with him going, but he asked me to come as well.
I said sorry, that’s really not possible since Ellie’s wedding is coming up not long after and it’s just a lot on my plate right now (and it’s not like a simple drive, it’s in a whole other country). I’ve been helping with a lot of the planning and generally being there for her, and Ellie doesn’t want me to go now either.
Jack’s been pretty upset and not talking to me much.
People that know of this are torn, some are saying I’m right but a couple of people are telling me I’m being selfish.
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From the way I see this situation, I won’t say the writer is the jerk. Sometimes it is easy for us to say things or judge another person without trying to perceive the actual condition. In this case, I believe the writer has gone through a tough time in making up her mind between her sister’s wedding preparation and going with her boyfriend for the funeral. Probably, a lot of pressure has been put on her from both sides, especially from her family. For certain people, it is enough to get married in the simplest way. On the other hand, there are people who consider getting married as a once in a life time event. Therefore, they must organize it as grand as they can afford. Mostly, the elderly people will try to invite everyone they know to attend their children’s wedding. As a consequence, there are plenty of arrangements that need to be done. I am sure, deep in her heart, she would like to follow her boyfriend to the funeral. It is acceptable for her boyfriend to feel upset as well. He is expecting his girlfriend to follow him for support yet the girlfriend can’t do that.
Good points May. This is a really difficult one for me. I kind of think she should be there for her BF, but she also needs to be there for her sister. It’s almost an impossible situation. I still kind of think she should go to the funeral and hurry back for the wedding. I think she could do both things.